How can the view of the bather -- and the private atmosphere of the bathroom itself – reveal the construction and discovery of internal life? How does the relationship to one’s identity and body form over years of repetitive care tasks? My work is about taking agency in this process, and asking: What parts of our identity do we create, and what parts are we beholden to? As a queer person, I spent years trying to avoid building a relationship with myself out of discomfort, and my work reflects this aversion to be seen, in conflict with the desire to be known and understood.
I take inspiration from American artist Nicole Eisenman, whose dreamlike paintings capture oddly colorful, often abstract figures interacting with one another in serene but unnerving environments. I try to capture the same sense of imbalance she brings to her constructed spaces and complicate the relationship between character and environment.
Through ambiguous character interaction I examine the simultaneous rejection and internalization of rigid social structures like heteronormativity and the Western colonial idea of a strict gender binary. I work with recycled materials and unstretched canvases to bring texture and a “lived in” feeling to my work, as one “lives in” the mind, which is itself recycled and damaged. I have fractured the self into different roles, the “Caretaker,” the “Child,” and the “Reformer” among them, who care for and deny one another through moments across time, acting as conflicting participants in the constant evolution and revision of their own identity. My work examines this process as both an act of self-flagellation and a tool for growth.